your average love poem

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I absolutely love this poem -the type of poetry that makes my heart smile!

writingsingray

this is your everyday love poem
that roses are red violets are blue
love poem
that ill die for you type love poem
and i am the person who
was shot by cupid.. or was it.. the arrow that went through your heart
that hit mines
because.. i fell in love with you the very moment my eyes hit the atoms that created you.
shit, it was that moment that my poems were no longer poetry
but letters to the woman that i wanted to bite that forbidden peach with
the woman i wanted to share my throne with
can i crown you
as mine?
if so take this black light
wait until the sun falls asleep
and look for the messages, i have written in invisible ink
the first clue is on you..
3 spaces from your left thumb
once i place my heart and spirit around your finger

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Welcome to the Rambles!

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Somewhere in this crazy mixed up world ‘I Fell in love ! No not with a man or material things but with words . Everyday E long for something to jump out at me but it doesn’t ! So I search For things to relate to.  Every time I read a book, poem, or story it’s like it speaks to me. When I AM happy or sad I look for stories I can relate to . I hate that I rarely find anything . I didn’t knowlhow important writing was to me until I wasn’t happy without it. Oh well, it’s late and I’m rambling ! Goodnight World! .

Have yourself a Merry Little Christmas

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So, I realize we haven’t even gotten thru Thanksgiving and I am already thinking about Christmas. This will be my first Christmas with my boyfriend. We plan on buying a tree and having our own little Christmas in the apartment. I’m excited! For some reason I’m just nervous on what to get him.  I have never been in a relationship during the Christmas season, well a healthy relationship,so this is new to me. He claims he doesn’t want anything but for me to sing to him but I have a few tricks up my sleeve and he’ll surely be surprised,so I really can’t wait.  His birthday is on Christmas Eve so that’s even more fun but right now I just have the new relationship jitters.

Well updates for me. Grad school is kicking my ass literally. I have so much to do not enough time. Homecoming with this week and I did nothing at all. I find myself having less time for the things I enjoy. I didn’t want to go out and quote on quote turn up because I already have my man at home so why go looking. Even with everything I had to do, this weekend has been pretty chill. I bought some art materials and I think I’m going to Start drawing again.  Ultimately I need to start back writing because I need it in my life.

Oh yeah, I bought the note 3 I’m in love !!!
Bye bye for now.

More About Nothing….

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Ironically, I have spent most of my night cooking, cleaning and going thru all of the excuses in my head as to why I did not finish my graduate research for the week (instead of actually completing it).  I also spent a good chunk of time watching proposal videos on HowHeAsked.com . I’ve been a sucker for weddings since I was a little girl and seeing the happiness those woman feel and te lengths the guys go through to make their girls happy makes me feel like its hope for us hopeless romantics yet.  While I’m pondering over nonsense that may or may not ever happen to me – I should have been replying to the 700 emails in my work inbox.

So here I am…typing from a dark room, on a semi comfortable mattress with the blankets being snatched from my back by an already sleeping mini-giant trying to recollect my days thoughts.
One thing that has continuously been on my mind is the notion that I am not cut out to be a computer scientist.  After 4 years you would think I had learned my lesson, but I haven’t.  It was the dollar signs that floated through my head as I accepted a full graduate scholarship instead of following my heart and pursuing journalism, which is only the thing i have been talking bout doing since I began to form sentences.  I must admit my grammar could use some work but I love writing…. It makes me happy, keeps me sane and when nothing else is going right the page won’t criticize me back but  somehow I neglect it.

Aside from my dreams of righting professional and trying to figure out a way to break into the freelance world, my health comes into question.  At one time, I was content with everything about myself now it’s like I’m fighting a losing battle.  Not only am I exhausted I’m FAT and no not the PHAT – there is nothing Pretty, Hot and Tempting about me…

Ode to the OverWhelmed !

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I keep leaving my blog neglected, I wish I had more time to write but so much has been going on lately.  I’m going to TRY to make it my resolution to write at least 3 times a week, I’ve come to the conclusion that it makes me feel alot better.  Yesterday I finally got a chance for some much needed retail therapy and it made me realize how LARGE I have gotten lately.  I may start using my blog as a weight lost diary of some sort, idk.  I know I need to get in the gym and FAST.  Like Yesterday!

On a lighter note I am now a Starbucks Rewards member, my life needs coffee and LOTS of it. I kee telling myself it will all pay off in the end – my new motto for the rest of Grad. School.

For some reason I have been getting super overwhelmed lately not only am I working three jobs and a full time student- I am playing house wife to my, semi-live in boyfriend….But I guess it’s life.

The – Not So – Ordinary…

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I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t conflicted with my life right now.  I like to think that I am in the ideal situation but I’m not.  I find myself doing things I said I never would….

I come from a family of over achievers and perfectionists to say the least.  My parents expected and expect nothing but the best of me, so what do you do when somehow you feel like you’ve failed them?  Not directly though.

I just feel like my life isn’t going in the right direction.  I’m doing things because of other people and not paying attention to what I want for myself.  I don’t even know what that is anymore… I feel like in the process of me and “him” becoming one I lost myself and I don’t know how to get it back…

It’s hard because there is no one I can really talk to about it and it kills me.  There is so much I want to say but can’t get it out.  Eventually, I’m hoping things will change.  I have been planning this “life” for myself since I was 10 and I don’t want anything to mess it up now….

Somebody/Anybody…..Advice?…..Please

Some Kind Of Blues

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My mood is currently overworked, underpaid and unappreciated.  My first week in grad school has been nothing short of hell and my emotions are going hay wire.  I feel like I’m always taking into account what other people feel and want – but not myself.  This is the long weekend and I have done NOTHING relaxing.  When will I have time to kick my feet up… I am two seconds from turning my phone off, locking my door and going into hibernation.  This cant be what happiness feels like.

I just want to feel like someone has my back.  I want to be pleasantly surprised by the prospect of nothing.  Sometimes being active and being there is the only thing a girl really wants.  I have a job, I’m a TA, I’m a full time student, I have to do research and I am also interviewing to be a mentor.  Never do I once here the words “it’s okay, I understand”.

Woman are naturally the doers an it’s not fair.  I won’t continue my rant -Goodnight bloggers!